Exercise 1: Three Blessings
The following exercise is one of several that have shown preliminary promise in recent research into how people can make themselves happier - not just for a day or two, but long-term. It's part of a larger body of work that challenges a long-standing skepticism about whether that's even possible.
To increase overall happiness, every night, think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. (Yes, you may list more than three blessings. It is the experience of some that the more you list, the better you feel. But three will suffice.)
Feel free to use the following sentence completion phrases, which I created for my use, to jog your memory or come up with something better for you..
1. One thing that went well today is ...
- Why I believe it occured is ...
- Why I believe it occurred is ...
- Why I believe it occurred is ...
Gratitude exercises can do more than lift one's mood. At the University of California at Davis, psychologist Robert Emmons found they improve physical health, raise energy levels and, for patients with neuromuscular disease, relieve pain and fatigue. "The ones who benefited most tended to elaborate more and have a wider span of things they're grateful for," he notes.
Exercise 2: Gratitude Visit
The single most effective way to turbocharge your joy is to make a "gratitude visit." That means writing a testimonial thanking a teacher, pastor or grandparent ... anyone to whom you owe a debt of gratitude ... and then visiting that person to read him or her the letter of appreciation.
"The remarkable thing," says University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman, "is that people who do this just once are measurably happier and less depressed a month later. But it's gone by three months."
Less powerful but more lasting, he says, is an exercise he calls three blessings ... taking time each day to write down a trio of things that went well and why. "People are less depressed and happier three months later and six months later." (See Exercise 1)
Exercise 3: Using a Strength or Unique Ability to Perform an Act of Kindness
The biggest recommendation for lasting happiness is to find new ways to use your strengths or unique abilities to perform acts of kindness for others.
What is your strength or unique ability? Let's find out, if you don't already know.
Personal Strength Analysis ***
1) There are things we all do well, and they come easy for us to do.
2) There are things we do well, but they take great effort for me and you.
3) There are things we don't do well, no matter how hard we try. (Example: It would be a mistake to ask me to fix your car.)
We're looking here for things that fall into category #1.
Complete the following sentence to begin your search for your strengths and unique abilities:
"Something I seem to do well, and it's easy for me to do is __."
If you really can't think of a strength or unique ability, get help from your family and friends who really know you well. My experience is they will love that you asked and be to happy to share their insights with you, about you. Why? Because helping you is an act of kindness for them. And acts of kindness make people happy. Really.
But don't take my word for it. Test this for yourself. Send an email to family and friends , soliciting their reponses to these two questions:
1. What do you see as my strength or unique ability?
2. How do you see me using it to serve others?
You will know, when you read the reponses, which ones are right on target And if several of the responses point to the same strength, believe it. It's a strength.
If the responses point to more than one strength or unique ability ... and they may ... pick one, for starters, and find a new way to use it this week to perform an act of kindness. You'll be glad you did.
*** The Strength Analysis exercise is one I may have created, but can't recall with total certainty ... due to a "Senior Moment". Regardless, I highly recommend it.
See http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/11/26/D8LL23V82.html and http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/images/TimeMagazine/ for full articles on the above excercises. Definitely worth the read.
